


Five little fluffballs

by PoisonJack



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, General au, Jack is an uncreative dork when it comes to naming kittens AHAHA, M/M, Polyamory, tim is a sneaky snake and thats the best thing ever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-15
Updated: 2019-01-15
Packaged: 2019-09-20 01:03:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17012574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoisonJack/pseuds/PoisonJack
Summary: Tim adopts a bunch of kittens without telling Rhys or Jack.Then Rhys finds out.ThenJack finds out. And picks his favorite xDOne of my older works from a tumblr sentence prompt meme request:for the sentence prompt! ' “I may have accidentally sort of adopted five cats.” '





	Five little fluffballs

**Author's Note:**

> Tim is living the dream and you can't convince me otherwise xD Kitten claws are like needles aaaaaagh

“ _Heeeeeey_ ,” Tim greeted, a watery smile on his face.

“Hey yourself,” Rhys answered as he took off his coat and set his stuff down. He gave the room a cursory glance-over, ignoring Tim’s antsyness. “Jack home?”

“Not yet, no…”

“Mm,” Rhys acknowledged, focused on putting his stuff down. “What do you feel like for di–” He stopped mid-sentence as a noise caught his ears. Tim nervously laughed and coughed loudly on the couch. “Did you hear that?”

“Hear what? Oh _man_ it has been a day, huh?” Tim nervously chuckled on the couch as Rhys’ head was still tilted in listening. “We should watch a movie or something? You wanna go hop in the shower aaaaaaand I’ll get things started?”

Rhys was nodding absentmindedly and then straightened looking at Tim. “You didn’t hear that just now?”

“H-hear what? You work way too hard. Heh heh heh…heeeh…”

Rhys was crossing the room, listening, and Tim hopped up from the couch and took too-wide strides in trying to appear unaware. Rhys ignored him as he listened, trying to find the source of the sound as he approached their bedroom. “It sounds like…. Is the battery on anything dying?”

“You should get your hearing checked. Ears must still be ringing from working hard all day.” Tim hand his palms flat against Rhys’ back as he quickly marched him into the bedroom and propelled him towards the master bathroom. “Have a shower and relax and–”

Rhys stopped and Tim paused as there was the unmistakable sound of a yowl, muffled somewhat by the closet. Rhys looked at Tim like he was nuts. “There is _no way_ you didn’t hear that just now.”

Tim was sputtering, half-laughs and half stuttered denials as Rhys approached the closet. The double didn’t stop him as Rhys approached to open the door cautiously. He gasped at what was waiting inside, and gave Tim an incredulous look.

“I may have _accidentally_ sort of adopted five cats….”

Rhys looked between Tim and the box that annoyed kittens were pawing and meowing at. Some jumped at Rhys, little claws hooking over the edge and trying to vault themselves over to get out. Rhys picked up a little orange one and scratched it’s chin as he gave Tim a look. “Jack is gonna kill you.”

“Not if we keep them hidden!”

“Tim you’re as bad at keeping secrets from him as _I_ am.” The double frowned at that, and Rhys bent to pick up a little striped brown cat, holding two as the others mewled in annoyance up at his face.

Tim bent to remove the box from the closet, sitting on the floor with it between his legs. “We could put them in one of the spare rooms? Jack never goes back there anyways and they don’t take up much space.” Tim pulled one up, holding it’s body in both hands as he brought it to his face to nuzzle it. “I just wuv them.”

Rhys laughed at the other man’s voice, sitting next to him and the box as they removed the other kittens to have them all between them, petting and holding and cooing over the cute sounds they made. Tim was telling Rhys where’d he’d gotten them and how he couldn’t just leave them and they were so cute and obviously intelligent and and and–

Neither man heard Jack come home, and they didn’t hear his wary approach to the room either. They only realized Jack was even there when his snort caught their ears; frown on his face and arms crossed over his chest.  


“What. Are _those_?”

Tim and Rhys both looked up at him with wide eyes, each clutching kittens to them so the little things couldn’t make their curious way over to the newest entrant to the space.

Rhys took the immediate offensive without second thought, an accusatory digit aimed at Jack. “You are never home and the house is empty and we don’t have kids and we deserve something waiting for us Jack!”

Tim was watching Rhys with wide eyes at that quickly spat speech, the cybernetic man’s hand wavering, face red and flesh hand clutching two annoyed kittens to his chest. Rhys reminded him of a nervous chihuahua.

Jack snorted at that, one of the kittens broke free from Tim and sauntered it’s way uncoordinatedly over to the older man as Rhys lowered his hand, face burning as both men sitting on the floor watched the kitten with a lot more balls than either of them combined.

The little yellow fluffball mewed up at Jack moments before it started climbing up his leg. Jack frowned and hissed at the sharp little claws in his jeans, and he pulled the kitten off him by the scruff to bring it before his face. It hung pitifully limp, paralyzed by the natural hold.  


Jack inspected it a moment before he moved it to his other palm, a thumb under it’s tiny chin immediately warranting purrs from the cat. “Where did you get these, _Tim_?” Though Rhys had immediately spoke up, it was quite obvious who the instigator in all this was. “I thought you were supposed to be clearing shit on Elpis.”

“I did…” the double stated pitifully as they watched Jack’s focus still on the fluff dwarfed against the older man’s breadth. “They were gonna feed these little guys to kraggons for fun…. I just couldn’t… I mean, look at them.”

Jack made a noise of acknowledgment, one hand holding the busy kitten against him firmly while he took survey of the others the two men had. “This one has eyes like me.” He was looking at the other kittens, checking, ignoring Rhys and Tim while the kittens mewed in annoyance. Jack huffed and walked out of the room with the kitten still against his chest. “This one is mine.”

Tim and Rhys looked at each other for confirmation that that had really just happened. The only cat with two different colored eyes was the one to have approached Jack; the others were just run of the mill grey and yellow eyed babies, mewing for attention, and more likely food.

Jack ended up naming all the kittens, regardless, and Rhys and Tim were just so thrilled that they could keep them they didn’t even care; not when Jack lacked in imagination or naming conventions, and especially not when they could give the kittens cute nicknames anyways.  


The orange one Jack had named Tim, the stripey brown one was Rhys, the grey stripey one was Jim, the little black and white tuxedo cat got named after Jack- because he was fancy as hell just like his namesake- but the little yellow one with mismatched eyes was officially called ‘Handsome Goddamn Jack’, or ‘Han’ for short.  


It was ridiculous, but something they could live with if it meant they could have pets. It was also hilarious, as the cats grew, to hear one of the men finding a mess and shouting out “Dammit Jack! _Don’t dig in the trash_!” or “ _Rhys shit on the rug!_ ”

Jack was never more satisfied by the new additions to the apartment and the way it improved their lives. His suggestion they get a dog or two, however, was highly vetoed by the other two men. They refused for Jack to have a ‘bitch’ called Rhysothy or a hound called Rhack. End of discussion.

**Author's Note:**

> Yup. I went there with the combination (ship) names LOLOLOL XD Any comments super appreciated and enjoyed! It's writer fuel you know!
> 
> [my tumblr](http://purge-that-urge-rhackathon.tumblr.com/) | [my fic masterlist archive](http://purge-that-urge-rhackathon.tumblr.com/post/134979026515/poisonjack-ao3-fic-archive) | [my twitter](https://twitter.com/PurgeThatUrge) | [my pillowfort](https://www.pillowfort.io/PoisonJack)  
> (Just an FYI: you'll need to be logged in to tumblr for my blog to show up since it's marked explicit :D)
> 
> Please leave kudos and a comment if you enjoyed! ao3 FAQ: [Can I post comments anonymously, or if I don't have an Archive account? ](https://archiveofourown.org/faq/comments-and-kudos?language_id=en#anoncomment)


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